State of the (Cardboard) Box

January 27, 2010

State of the (Cardboard) Box

Friends,

The Anti Depressant Movement is alive and thriving here at the Outside the (Cardboard) Box Global Headquarters Shed. As we embark together on the journey to retake our Country from rapacious Commercial Interests, to pry loose from their purchased offices a National Legislature that no longer represents the People, and mightily endeavor to acquire indoor plumbing here at OTCB , it behooves us to pause and reflect upon the challenges that confront us.

The road ahead will not be an easy one. There will be days of hardship. There will be days of sorrow. However, there will also be days of mirth, laughter and joy. And in the end, there will be victory. For no longer is it merely the Anti Depressants who seek the return of our Nation. No my friends, we are now joined by others who loudly proclaim their like-mindedness!

During his State of the Union Address to Congress tonight, President Barack Obama informed us that he absolutely hated the bank bailouts. He knows that I hated them. He knows that you hated them. He knows of a couple people in Washington who hated them. He knows a guy in Indy that didn’t like them too much. And there was a lady he met somewhere…..she wasn’t too thrilled either.*

The President declared that he demands a financial system that will not destroy the Economy. As do we, Mr. President. As do we. Bravo sir!

In order to create a financial system that won’t destroy the Economy, the President proposes giving money to, um, banks. Not those banks. He wants to give money to other banks. He wasn’t real explicit which banks though. But he has $30 billion in repaid TARP Funds burning a hole in his pocket and apparently the President thinks that this is the way to go.

Friends, the President is also closely aligned with Anti Depressant thinking regarding the elimination of undue legislative influence by Special Interests.

The President’s proposed strategy in this regard is to provide vast sums of money to companies who build nuclear power plants, solar cells, railroads and companies like the one that makes that yellow, gooey expanding foam you spray from a can.

He will also give Big Oil Companies access to previously inaccessible national reserves.

This is a brilliant strategy, Mr. President. That will teach those banks, not the, um, other banks that you want to give money to now, but, you know, the bad banks from before, not to f*ck with us!

The President is clearly getting us back on the right track. Already able to point at several thousand jobs created through his dynamic initiatives, President Obama will no doubt have the other 16 million unemployed or underemployed back in harness in no time.

One of the President’s initiatives seemingly overlooked by the partisan right wing mainstream media is the Permanent Census Corps. While it is expected that most of those jobs will go to undocumented Haitians here recently granted temporary protected status , there will certainly be at least a few dozen positions open nationwide after all of the Haitians are settled.

A primary objective of the Permanent Census Corps will be to identify other undocumented resident aliens who may be fearful of deportation. It is believed that the largely Haitian immigrant PCC will be much more effective in identifying this underserved segment of our population, thus enabling them to also be granted temporary protected status permanently.

Apparently this diversity will enrich our society, broaden our culture and grow our economy through the, um, further expansion of our Government and its entitlement system.

Friends, it’s not just the Democratic President standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the Anti Depressants. The Republican National Committee is also aligned with our Movement.

Speaking from a tropical resort in Hawaii where Party Leaders are holding their annual meeting, RNC Chairman Michael Steele said after listening to the President’s Address, “The partisan left-wing mainstream media has made a big deal out of our selection of Hawaii. We were going to hold this year’s meeting in Detroit but it was pointed out that we haven’t held this meeting in Hawaii in at least a year. That’s all there is to that. We might do Detroit next year. And Hawaii is in a recession too. We just wanted to help”

Frankly, we here at Outside The (Cardboard) Box are touched by such sentimentality. That willingness to pitch-in is one of the qualities that made America great!

So with Democrats and Republicans suddenly embracing Anti Depressant Principals, I am sufficiently relieved to take a moment from my State of the (Cardboard) Box address to recognize First Lady Michelle Obama’s new “Fat Kids Initiative” as mentioned tonight by the President.

Fat kids are a National disgrace. You see them everywhere. Unsightly, beastly little things with chafing thighs and food-stained clothing, it’s high time that something was done. Talk about your big and difficult challenge. So to the First Lady we offer the thanks of a grateful Nation.

And so, to my fellow Anti Depressants, I say our time to engage is now! Don’t quit. I won’t quit. Don’t you quit. We won’t quit. No quitting. Don’t let your fat kids quit either. So absolutely no quitting. I’m serious about the quitting thing. Any questions on quitting? I didn’t think so. Because we’re not quitting. Winners never quit. And you can’t win if you quit. So my friends, let us seize this moment with unity of purpose and the strenght of our resolve to retake our Nation and restore it to its proper path!

I wish you all goodnight and may God Bless our Cardboard Box.

- TomOfTheNorth

OTCB - We make it up, you decide!

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