Building the Pyramid

January 13, 2010

Building the Pyramid

The Father of the Pyramid Speaks on Life, Love & U.S. Government Retirement Bonds

Pyramid illustration by http://mathewpippin.com

He ventured boldly from Lugo, Italy with less than $3 in his pocket but with ”$1 million in hopes.” He arrived in Boston and began a relentless pursuit of the American Dream, which resulted in his position of unique prominence in U.S. financial history today.

Given our subject’s subsequent extensive travel to and stays in Montreal; Atlanta; Lexington, MA; Jacksonville, FL; Tampa; New Orleans; back to Italy; and finally Rio De Janeiro; we could be speaking with one of the foremost Travel Guide Entrepreneurs on the Internet today. His colorful anecdotes and reminiscences from years spent touring State Facilities alone could fill several Library shelves. Yet it is his unparalleled financial acumen for innovative structured products and his recent hiring by the U.S. Department of the Treasury as Senior Undersecretary for Retirement Savings Procurement that prompts our visit to this historical figure. As the Founder of the Old Colony Foreign Exchange Company, a groundbreaking and the fastest growing investment firm of its time, Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi brings a serendipitous suite of skills and experience to the daunting task of mandated conversion of America’s Federally Underutilized personal retirement savings accounts into 400% Guaranteed U.S. Government Retirement Bonds and Annuities.

His piercing gaze conveys the steely resolve of one who would not be nonplussed if confronted by the grim reaper. Yet at 128, Ponzi looks surprising spry for someone who has been dead for over 60 years. A Retail Forex Market Thought Leader and the man who is tacitly credited with inspiring Debt Securitization, Swaps and other forms of Financial Innovation widely accepted and utilized today, Ponzi briefly shows a softer side as he speaks sentimentally about sponsoring his widowed mother Maria’s steamship voyage from their native Italy to her new home in Lexington, which he purchased with the hard-earned profits from his wildly successful Old Colony Foreign Exchange Company.

“Yaah, Mama warned Rose not to marry me. Momma was pretty smart” says Ponzi with his characteristic verve. ‘Rose’ was Ponzi’s wife Rose Maria Gnecco, a stenographer whom he married in 1918. Ponzi was understandably disappointed that Rose chose to remain in the Boston area rather than follow him on his investigative tour of various State Facilities throughout the country. Although sadly he and his wife were never reunited, Ponzi has maintained his gift of deep insight that he is renowned for. “”Even if she never got anything for it, it was cheap at that price” says Ponzi. Simple brilliance.

While painfully modest with respect to his massive impact on the creation of modern Esoteric Financial Products, Ponzi merely shrugs when it is suggested that Old Colony Foreign Exchange is the model that the current overall U.S. Federal System of Finance, as well as the specific monolithic entitlement and benefit programs also promulgated by the Government, are largely based upon. “I guess that’s why they brought me back” he offers. And since being raised from the Dead, Ponzi has been one frenetic cadaver! Assembling staff and creating policy can be incredibly demanding for a Government Employee in their prime, let alone one who has been dead for over 60 years.

In a flash of rare agitation, Ponzi takes issue with this reporter’s use of the term ‘scheme’. “It’s not scheme! It’s system. I want you call it the Ponzi System!” And Systemic Policy is a Ponzi strength. He describes the meticulous planning and calculus that went into the forthcoming Retirement Plan Conversion Program that will provide lifelong financial security for the American people for the first time in the history of the Union. “We take money. We give promise. Simple.” Simple brilliance indeed.

Ponzi has been diligently working to form a team of uniquely skilled Assistants for the Program Implementation phase of the project. In particular, he has been extremely reliant on the counsel of Financier Bernard Madoff to update him on modern financial nuance. “Yaah, Bernie smart guy” says Ponzi. “He good with numbers. I not good with numbers. And he wear nice suits.”

Another trusted Ponzi advisor in the creation of the ‘System’ that will centralize, guard, grow and disburse - after a fashion - Americans’ hard-earned retirement accounts is prominent Texas businessman Sir R. Allen Stanford. “He not smart as Bernie but he pretty smart” observes Ponzi.

And what does the legendary Ponzi have to say about his new boss, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner? “He still think too small. I teach him. He good boy. He got lotsa promise.” And our retirement accounts will be safer for it. Rest easy America!