January 6, 2010

@govTwits Daily Highlights

Dear Readers,

The overwhelming response to our “New Year’s Resolutions from the Nation’s Capital” post has conveyed to us your keen interest in getting to know your Public Servants more intimately. In our never ending quest to supply your unmet Faux News needs, Outside The (Cardboard) Box  is pleased to announce the launch of our latest series:

@govTwits Daily Highlights

Keep up with the innermost thoughts of your favorite State or National Chief Executive, Legislator, Regulator or Member of the Judiciary as they communicate their aspirations, frustrations and triumphs to you in Real Time over the govTwits Network.

Covering a wide gamut of views, interests & concerns, today’s @ govTwits Highlights feature:

Director of the National Economic Council Larry Summers; Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano; Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke; Senator Chris Dodd (CT-D); Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner; Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D); Budding Entrepreneur & Lobbyist Bristol Palin; Former Vice President Dick Cheney; Congresswoman & Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (CA-D); South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (R); and Neel Kashkari , former TARP Czar and new Equity Head for PIMCO.


(sorted by oldest posts first)


  BigKahuna@govTwits:  Great Breakfast! Two double chili-cheeseburgers. AWESOME! The bacon makes them indescribably delicious!!!!LOL. The fries were a little soggy tho. Fortunately the chocolate sundae salvaged the fries debacle.

  AZhottie@govTwits: We’ve successfully thwarted attack for __ days, __ hours, __ minutes. The System Is Working!

  Spanky@govTwits: hi. not doing much today. maybe do a little ‘qe’ later.  everything is fine here. things are fine.

  IrishEyes@govTwits: It is with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement <snicker>

  TheRocker@govTwits: Busy day. Worked on my resume. Wrote a bunch of checks. I Rock!

  fullheadofhair@govTwits: Trying this thing for the first time

  AKmom@govTwits: Hi govTwits! It’s Bristol! I can help you w/your msg & to get you properly positioned and stuff.

  montyburns@govTwits: Please remove me from this list.

  Madam@govTwits: Could you bring me my sweater? My office is cool.

  BigKahuna@govTwits: More stupid meetings.  WTF! They should just do what I tell them!  Is it lunch yet? Got Animal House playing on my Iphone…Need a HoHo…Belushi just RULES!

  TheRocker@govTwits: Spent $50 bil before lunch. Too funny! Getting close to Tax Time… HAHA…Turbo THIS, stupid MOFOs!

  AZhottie@govTwits: Woops! Left it blank. Laugh Out Loud!

  fullheadofhair@govTwits: This is so bogus. I need to make some coin.

  BigKahuna@govTwits: I’m in another stupid meeting so now watching Elf on my Iphone….ROFLMAO!…..gotta remember to try the spaghetti w/ maple syrup

  IrishEyes@govTwits: Just got off w/Tangelo. He’s THE MAN. Found me another sweet refi!

  TheRocker@govTwits: Heard from Gross again. Told him Global Commodities Head would be SUH-WEET! Think they’re going for it. CHAAAA-CHIIIIING!!!!!

  Spanky@govTwits:  hi again. things are still fine. the economy is growing. don’t worry. it’s all still fine.

  fullheadofhair@govTwits: I’m available for interviews & appearances. Call me.

  montyburns@govTwits: Unsubscribe

  Madam@govTwits: Hello? Could you bring in my sweater please?

  TheRocker@govTwits: I LOVE this shit! Money, money money! HAHAHA

  AKmom@govTwits: BSMP LLC provides lobbying, public relations, political consulting services and other cool stuff for your political & professional endeavors. And like, u could meet my mom.

  fullheadofhair@govTwits: reasonable rates

  SCstudmuffin@govTwits: Regrettably, I have cut short my solo Trade Mission to Venezuela due to the poor economy.

  IrishEyes@govTwits: Good Luck Suckahs! Send my checks to Ireland hehehe

  AZhottie@govTwits: We’ve successfully thwarted attack for 12 days, 4 hours, 17 minutes. The System Is Working!

  TheRocker@govTwits: Heard from Xiao Gang over @ BOC. Like I’m HIS bitch. NOT! I’ll pimp-slap that P.O.S.!

  Spanky@govTwits: hi again. the audit the fed idea is a bad idea. things are really fine. the audit the fed will mess that up. then things will be not fine.

  BigKahuna@govTwits: Spaghetti w/ maple syrup is freaking AWESOME! Spaghetti is really just long, skinny, soft, succulent boiled waffles when you think about it.

  IrishEyes@govTwits: Dublin, Bitches!!!

 AKmom@govTwits: I did a GREAT job with my mom’s tour. Do u wanna meet her? Hire me!

  AZhottie@govTwits: We’ve successfully thwarted attack for 12 days, 4 hours, 23 minutes. The System Is Working!

 SCstudmuffin@govTwits: To aid my fellow SC citizens through the reinvigoration of our State’s economy, I am going on a solo trade mission to Amsterdam.

  AKmom@govTwits: Everythings great! but my ex-BF is SUCH A JERK!

montyburns@govTwits: Delete My Account

  BigKahuna@govTwits:  Another stupid meeting just started. Gonna watch Tommy Boy during this one. Chris Farley rocks! I need a snack to power me thru. Got a powerful hankering for a Gyros! mmmmmmm

   fullheadofhair@govTwits: Come to my “Blag” and click on ads. There is a donate button too. My Blag is da bomb.

 SCstudmuffin@govTwits: I hope to make a side trip to Sweden as I have some dear, dear friends who are Swedish.

  Spanky@govTwits: hi again. we are not in a depression. I know depression. this is not a depression. things are still fine. as long as there is no audit. if there is an audit, things will not be fine. don’t you want things fine?

  AKmom@govTwits: And he’s lousy in you-know-where hahaha


  montyburns@govTwits: Stop sending me this drivel you TWITS!

 SCstudmuffin@govTwits: I’m also planning a trade mission to Thailand. You’d be surprised how much Thai food we eat in SC! I’ve heard tell that a guy can sample an endless variety of Thai clams. Sausage too…..

  TheRocker@govTwits : Think I’ll do a little debasement on his slanty-eyed ass. I ain’t NOBODY’S ho no ‘mo…..’cepting maybe Pimco’s or Goldman’s or one of the TBTF’s…..

  AKmom@govTwits: it was SOOOOOO boring  HAHAHAHAHAHA

  Madam@govTwits: This isn’t working. I think it’s broken.

  TheRocker@govTwits: I had NOTHING to do w/AIG. That was either my predecessor or a subordinate. Paulson & Spanky were ALL OVER THAT SHIT! 

  SCstudmuffin@govTwits: I may be away for awhile. It is important to establish cordial relations with your trading partners. On behalf of SC, I need to develop lots of partners.

  Madam@govTwits: Could someone come in my office and fix my Twittercom please?

  TheRocker@govTwits: Damn! Now Gross is backpedalling. Says we’ll have to wait. Says I’m too hot. Did you see his latest letter? WTF! He’s up to his Kashkari-extended eyebrows in this poop! Freaking weasel! 

  cagefighter@govTwits: Just a quick note. Settling-in to my new digs. Preparing to do battle with the Equity Titans of the Globe. I bet none of them have ever built a Shed like I did! I will rip their faces off like a rabid wolverine from Hell!



As always, we hope you enjoyed today’s offering!


Outside The (Cardboard) Box - We make it up, you decide!



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