The New Australian School of Economics (Wonkish)
The New Australian School of Economics
Outside The (Cardboard) Box interviews curbside economist J. Fishman on the New Australian School of economic theory.
Today OTCB is speaking with Dr. Jyotis Fishman, a man whose mission in life is to extol the pragmatic virtues of the so-called ‘New Australian School’ of economic theory, an approach that claims as its motto: “We don’t just make shit up.”
(OTCB) Welcome Dr. Fishman.
(Fishman) G’day mate. Call me Joey
(OTCB) It’s been said that the ‘New Australian School’ of economics has an uncanny ability to model potential policy impacts on the man on the street. To what do you attribute that?
(Fishman) Well…it’s simple really. Our economists are all unemployed & homeless. Real battlers. They ARE the man on the street.
(OTCB) How does the Australian approach differ from the other prominent schools of thought?
(Fishman) For starters, we never write papers. Trying to read those other blokes theories is just torture. The stuff they write is dryer than a dead dingo’s donger. Don’t get me wrong. As people, some of them are aces. For instance, the Chicago bunch throw a helluva shivoo! But crikey, do they like their equations. After one of their presentations, I need emergency transport to the boozer for an infusion of the amber nectar. It’s usually a dozen or so pints before the pain goes away….
(OTCB) By their exclusion, are we to assume you have issues with the salt water schools of thought?
(Fishman) Nawwww. They’re ok. Those West Coast kids talk a little slow is all – I think it’s the medical mary jane out there - and the East Coasters probably just need to throttle-back on the eight daily Starbucks until their thoughts clear and they calm down some. A little more dietary fiber for that lot too is called for, I should think…..
(OTCB) Nobel winning economist Paul Krugman has argued that the ‘zero bound’ is sufficient reason for additional, massive stimulus. Your thoughts?
(Fishman) Well, I’ve never met him but I think we have some differences in terminology. Here in Oz, I consider ‘zero bound’ to be when a Sheila unties me after we’ve had a naughty and, at that point, while I welcome additional stimulus, too much could overheat my, er, economy….hehehe……Is it my imagination or does he look like one of them dags who has a vinyl girlfriend?
(OTCB) And the Austrian School?
(Fishman) Bossy little bastards, aren’t they…
(OTCB) Sounds like some hard feelings.
(Fishman) No,not at all. The Austrians make great snags…
(OTCB) Snags?
(Fishman) Sausages. And I love sausages on the barbie. But you never know what’s in a sausage. You just take it on faith it won’t make you violently ill. That’s a little like their economics….it borders on a religion, but one that could have you calling on the porcelain telephone if something in the mix is a little off…. Now that I think of it, I could probably make a bundle selling little von Mises on little crosses to those drongos..…..hmmmm…..remind me of this later, will ya mate?
(OTCB) Sure thing. Are you then discounting their theory of Praxeology?
(Fishman) Mate, the last time I went to a Praxeologist, my clacker was sore for a week. I wouldn’t wish that on the biggest, meanest croc from beyond the black stump ……
(OTCB) While we’re on the subject, is there a contemporary economist that you WOULD like to meet?
(Fishman) Roubini looks like someone I could hoist a few with. Sounds like he gets more tail than a gyno… By the way, is he related to that Huffington woman?
(OTCB) Arianna?
(Fishman) Yeah, I think so – the online publisher…
(OTCB) Not that we’re aware of.
(Fishman) Crikey! When I hear them speak I would have sworn they were separated at birth and he was raised by dingos……
(OTCB) Tell me about the motto.
(Fishman) Well, since we don’t make shit up we thought that would make a good motto.
(OTCB) That implies you feel the other schools make things up.
(Fishman) Not always made up actually. But they bend facts to point you in the wrong direction. And that’s not just the economists, the Governments are doing it too.
(OTCB) How so?
(Fishman) One example from your Government– and there’s literally hundreds – is the birth/death model. It doesn’t have anything to do with birth OR death. And where’s it come from? Can you tell me? You can’t! It’s just made up!
(OTCB) Isn’t that the purpose of a model – to infer a probable forecast from calculations based on historic performance?
(Fishman) Then how about a little truth in labeling? Let’s call it the “Wild-Assed Guess on Jobs Gained From Small Business” model. And THEN, I want these bludgers to add a disclaimer to the effect that it’s not worth a crumpet…..
(OTCB) Are you personally aware of any non-Government economists recently ‘bending’, as you describe it, facts?
(Fishman) Happens all the time. And the lot of them do it to each other on their blogs constantly – just pissing crap back & forth. It’s amazing. But here’s an example from last week. I was watching CNBC beamed-in from the US and their little Chief Economist is on the air, sitting on a stack of phonebooks to bring him up to desk height. He holds a US quarter-dollar and an inflated basketball up to the camera and proceeds to compare the quarter to the US unemployed and the basketball to US employed. Do you know what school of economics that is?
(OTCB) Austrian?
(Fishman) That’s the Dumbshit School, is what that is! Crimmeny! The closest thing to the truth in the whole segment was the quarter.
(OTCB) How’s that?
(Fishman) Because about a quarter of the US workforce is wantin’ full-time work but unable to find it.
(OTCB) Well let’s move on to the ideas in the New Australian School, shall we?
(Fishman) Onya!
(OTCB) If you could sum up the thinking….
(Fishman) KISS! Keep it simple shithead!
(OTCB) Very clever….
(Fishman) No, I’m serious. Government’s job is to be helpful to the people. That’s not to say that they have to hold hands with every two-pot screamer but….well let’s take your Government again. They say they want to help the people. So they charged the people taxes and then gave the money to AIG, who gave it on to Goldman Sachs, Royal Bank of Scotland, Barclays and others. This seems a very complicated and questionable way of helping the people. Our way would have been to give the people something directly. Anything. Build something. Train somebody. Fix something broken. Simple! But when I look at the AIG deal, it seems pretty clear that your Government has some kangaroos loose in the top paddock!
(OTCB) Well the AIG situation was during a period of crisis and….
(Fishman) OK. Another one. Your Government gave a piss-pot of tax money to GM & Chrysler.
(OTCB) Not only did that initiative save good-paying American jobs but the taxpayer will ultimately make money on the investment.
(Fishman) Investment? HAHAHAHAHAHHOHOHOHOHHEHEHEHEHE!!!!! (at this point Fishman, slightly overcome by mirth, falls to the floor. He rolls around for some minutes.) Oh blimey that’s rich! I’d say you’ve got a few kangaroos loose in YOUR top paddock…hehehe….oh that’s good…hehehe….oh my sides!….hahahahaha…
(OTCB) Let’s move on. The New Australian School proposes the abolishment of unemployment insurance. Tell us about that.
(Fishman) We don’t propose the abolishment of unemployment insurance.
(OTCB) You don’t?
(Fishman) No, we just call it Personal Savings. People need to save for those inevitable times that they have no income. The idea that people work and pay taxes so Government can then pay people who are not working….well THAT is not worth a Zack.
(OTCB) Then how do you address the needs of the unemployed?
(Fishman) We employ ‘em. Crikey! It’s simple…..
(OTCB) You advocate ‘make work’ jobs?
(Fishman) Throw that saying in the dunny. ‘Make work’ implies there’s no actual work so we’re just going to have one bloke dig a hole and another one fill it in. No, what we’re saying is, hire them. There’s always something that needs to be done. Something needs to be cleaned, maintained, repaired…..something. People should work for their pay. Pay could be offered for work in tandem with training too. But these convoluted flim-flams are just bodgy economics.
(OTCB) Thank-you for speaking with us today Dr. Fishman.
(Fishman) G’day…but call me Joey, mate. And by the way, I’m not a Doctor…never finished secondary school.Not really an economist either, but no worries, mate……none of them famous blokes are either.
(OTCB) No worries Joey, and don’t forget….
(Fishman) Oy?
(OTCB) About the little von Mises on the little crosses.
(Fishman) Bonzer!
