November 9, 2009

Best Shanty-Based Service Businesses For A Great Depression

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Best Shanty-Based Service Businesses For A Great Depression

  The latest Government statistics reveal that the ratio of job-seekers to job openings has hit an all-time high. As still more job-seekers pursue still fewer job openings, the logical response is to seek alternative sources of income & employment. Given our focus on the Modern Economic Depression, the service enterprise suggestions to follow are meant to embrace the catchphrase “The New Normal” as “The New Normal” morphs into “The Double Dip” , which may then wend its way down to “A World of Hurt” and could finally bottom out at “We’re F***ing F***ed!”. Regardless, these occupations are destined to rise amidst any cataclysmic economic decline:

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Mobile Protest Sound

  As public demonstrations increase in frequency, the need for Mobile Protest Sound systems and the Professionals to provide, set-up & operate them will correspondingly increase. This is a low start-up cost operation. For the smallest protests, your cupped hands or a rolled-up newspaper will provide a perfectly adequate megaphone substitute.

  As a professional, you KNOW the proper way to cup your hands or roll-up that newspaper for optimal sound projection. As your business & revenues grow, you may expand your service offerings to include full size megaphones (*Tip– Cheerleading Squads often replace their megaphones annually, providing a low or no-cost equipment source) and, ultimately, the crème-de-la-crème of Mobile Protest Sound Systems, the Bullhorn!

 With the addition of the Bullhorn to your offered services, you have really arrived in your new career of Mobile Sound Engineer, opening up a myriad of new commercial activities beyond merely providing Mobile Protest Sound. You may now find employment with Sidewalk Preachers, be engaged to produce the Shanty Town dance and will be sought out by all manner of street performance artists seeking to elevate their auditory profile.  

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The Flea Exchange

 Unlike a Flea Market, which is merely another name for a swap meet (and has nothing to do with fleas), or a Flea Circus, which is nothing but a scam from the get-go (Fleas on trapeze? Puh-leaze!), the Flea Exchange is a personal grooming service where you are devoted to ridding your clientele of unwanted onboard pests.

  As a business owner, YOU decide which aspects of the nit-picking industry you will accommodate. Whether you offer Head Only, Head Plus armPits and so on, up to a full body “The Works” treatment, each expansion of your service coverage will increase your billable rate as well as your billable hours. Much like Mobile Protest Sound, start-up equipment costs for the Flea Exchange are minimal. All you need is a small Nit Comb, some infested clients and, before you know it, you’re a pickin’ and a grinnin’ at your ‘lousy’ job! HAHAHA!

 Personal Services such as the Flea Exchange allow for a myriad of up-sell opportunities. For example, after ridding an afflicted client of their pestilence, you might inquire if they would enjoy a gravel exfoliation, perhaps followed by a (real) mud mask.  The most ambitious entrepreneurs may envision someday owning their own Shanty Spa.

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Shanty Town Utility

Utilities have provided investors some of the most stable rates of return of any investment available. While Shanty Town residents have the same basic needs as people anywhere else, Shanty Towns are notoriously underserved by traditional utilities. Thus sets the stage for the best ‘green field’ idea for Shanty Town-based Businesses: operate your own for-profit utility.

 Do you have paper coffee filters and some iodine? You can be the local Water Department. Do you know where there are stacks of wood pallets you can purloin? Hey, look at you! You’re an energy provider. Position yourself in front of this tsunami of demand and you will be inundated with stable income until the sun burns out.

 And speaking of the Sun, locate some solar panels and a few car batteries to liberate and, voila! You’re Shanty Town’s answer to Com Ed!

 Waste Management is another option for the budding utility entrepreneur. There is ample need for this service in a Shanty Town. Just be sure to read our two-step planning guide for Water & Waste services titled: “Dig The Well Over Here - Dig The Latrine WAY Over There” to avoid common mistakes in service implementation. 

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If these ideas haven’t placed you squarely on the road to a New Propsperity, watch for future installments of “The Best Shanty-Based Service Businesses for a Great Depression” for more great enterprise ideas to bootstrap yourself out of squalor.

  1. outsidethe-cardboard-box posted this
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