Scary Halloween Costumes for the Economically Depressed

October 30, 2009

Scary Halloween Costumes for the Economically Depressed

In these difficult times, a great party can still be thrown together on a shoestring budget. With Halloween arriving in all its ghoulish glory this weekend, perhaps you have been invited to or are hosting your own Halloween costume party. Be aware though that these days a frilly costume or a superhero costume just won’t do. Not at all. No, this is a year for zombies, psychos, scary paranormal stuff, those intelligent aliens bent on world domination and the ever-popular unstoppable monsters from the depths of outer space. Your blogging team thought we would weigh-in with our thoughts on the scariest costume ideas this season. So peruse our suggestions below and then let your inner monster burst forth as you read on!

Zombies NEVER Sleep!

Zombies are always scary! Mindless, rampaging creatures with an insatiable hunger for consuming living flesh.

Here’s our idea for the perfect Zombie costume: Citibank’s Vikram Pandit, Chief Executive Zombie of Citibank, the quintessential Zombie Bank. Pandit is SUCH a Zombie, he makes Zombies seem engaging. Citi never sleeps. Whether it’s bleeding us out thru Federal largesse or goring us with usurious interest rates, Pandit & his Citi Zombie Army just keep doggedly gnawing the meat off our bones.

Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce que c’est ?

The psycho serial killer gives us chills every time! What dastardly, unthinkable thoughts & deeds occur in basements, back rooms & alleys?

Without a doubt, the best Psycho Serial Killer costume this season is to dress as Bank of America’s Ken Lewis. You just KNOW this guy has a chest freezer of severed body parts and a closet full of evening gowns…..

Dark Forces Unleashed

Some of our favorite movie scares have involved amateur dabblers in the occult being taken over by dark forces. The well-intentioned but misguided central character inadvertently introduces those evil energies into an unsuspecting populace. He THINKS he has control but we, the viewers, KNOW he’s in trouble. How WILL he extricate himself from this Foul Power?

Our vote for the “Occult Dabbler Who Is In Over His Head” costume is to dress as Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. We’re reasonably certain that he & Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner are meddling with elements better left undisturbed.

The Aliens’ Hidden Agenda

Since the beginning of space exploration, our culture has held a mixture of fascination & fear with the idea that there might be intelligent Aliens out there bent on world domination.

This year, the costume that best exemplifies the world-dominating intelligent alien is Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs. And you should know that there are rumors of Pods being found in the storage closets of the US Department of the Treasury as well as at the White House…….And we’re not talking I-Pods, neither!

The Alien Horde

Finally, one of the scariest creatures residing in our collective psyche is the parasitic, unstoppable creature from somewhere OUT THERE….It’s a certain, gruesome death for us if they get their tentacles into our orifices and deposit their eggs. Acid for blood. Emotionless. Humanity is merely a means to their nefarious ends. And all of a sudden they’re EVERYWHERE and UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!! NO!!!!NO!!!!AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!………

The best costume for Evil Alien Horde goes to Goldman Sachs! Lurking in Dark Pools of High Frequency Trading, locked on to all things Financial like some Bastard Tick From Hell, Goldman has to be stopped…..must be stopped…..can they be stopped????